This morning I woke up in the mood to hear some India.Arie. Although she's something like amazing, she's normally not on my daily musical rotation. Nonetheless, I happily dug through the crates to rekindle the flame with those old songs that did my heart so well back in the day. Hopping out of bed, I turned on my Bluetooth speaker, pumped up the volume and commenced with my day. The first song that played was "Good Mourning" - which was featured on Testimony: Volume 1 Life & Relationship, circa 2006.

The song is about a relationship that came to an end and her (ever so lovely) introspective, healing process after all was said and done. Although the consistent acoustics and beautiful progressions deserve a round of applause on their own - the lyrical content, delivered by her honey-coated voice is what really sets the song on fire. Give it a listen!


In the song, Arie gradually goes from stages of hurt, confusion and regret. To hope, acceptance and courage - and ends with optimism, faith and freedom. The song transitions so organically, like she literally read from pages of her diary.

As I wandered around the house with "Good Mourning" on repeat in the background, I couldn't help but to become stirred with insight (as only, Mother India can do.) Forgive my dramatics, but I became overwhelmed with all of the feels, as I grasped the true message that the song conveys - processing your pain.

Although the song is about a romantic relationship, the concept applies to any experience that may bring you despair. It could be the loss of a loved one, childhood trauma, ended friendships and so many other issues that can produce deep-rooted pain inside. And this pain, should be recognized.

As I attentively listened in, India acknowledged and respected each emotion she was experiencing in that moment. She took deep breaths and delicately went through each phase of healing in the most graceful way. She didn't cover up her pain or act like her feelings didn't exist, she looked within herself, pulled out the heartache and went through mourning. (word to India.Arie!)

Although this post is more personal than most, this is something that I felt compelled to share - owing to the fact that so many of us probably have a hard time fully processing our painful experiences. I'm sure that there are some unsettled daddy issues, childhood insecurities and heartbreak horrors buried deep down inside of a lot of us. I can even understand how it may seem easier (and more positive) to stuff our feelings and act like everything is okay - but holding yourself emotionally hostage is not the best (or healthiest) solution. Why are we so afraid of the bad and ugly feelings?

Going through life, I have discovered that there are no shortcuts in the healing process. It's nearly impossible to jump from sad to happy without going through a process. Following the death of my mother, it took me years to go through mourning. I had to experience so many dark, sad, numb and lonely moments before I was able to get to the point of acceptance and move on with life. Had I not allowed my emotions to flow freely, I may have still been stuck in grief. That said, it's in our best interest to explore our emotions and trust them to get us to the other side. Mourning, means you well ;)

Most of us are afraid of being human, afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of exposing our own beauty, afraid of being naked, afraid of shedding our masks, afraid of relinquishing our defenses, afraid of the only thing that can set us free.

If you can't tell, this topic gives me life! While writing this post, I had to reel myself in from becoming "Lu-yanla Vanzant" up in here - I could actually keep going with my personal thesis but I think I've done enough talking typing.

Comments are welcome :)

Thanks for reading!




  1. "Lu-yanla Vanzant" 😭

    Beautiful post, Lu! I am really loving your writing on here. Xx

    1. I'm lovin that you lovin my writing lol! Thanks, friend :)

  2. Ooooooh you is a goood blohger. Be havin me all up in my feeeeeeelins oooooh!